Another year, another awards season.
But before everything really kicks off, it’s important for everyone that the most prestigious movie blogger on the internet sets the standard- and that’s why it’s time for the Fifth Annual Movie Marmite Man Award!
But before everything really kicks off, it’s important for everyone that the most prestigious movie blogger on the internet sets the standard- and that’s why it’s time for the Fifth Annual Movie Marmite Man Award!
With an equal share of compliments and criticisms, the Marmies are presented to both the best and worst movies of the year.
Once again, I didn’t get to see as many movies as I would have liked, mainly because there wasn’t much choice. 2016 was a terrible year for film, with a poor selection to choose from, and a lot of the films that seemed watchable ending up being pretty lame.
Although I did manage to see a lot of last year’s award winning movies, I viewed them all for free on an aeroplane. And boy were they mediocre. But I’ll blog about them another time.
So sit back and relax as you enjoy the half decade milestone of The Movie Marmite Man Awards!
Superhero Movie of the Year
The Nominees:
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice- messy match-up
Captain America: Civil War- silly showdown
Deadpool- bloody banter
And the Winner Is:
Deadpool’s slick pacing, funny jokes and gory action scenes allowed it to stand out from the crowd by being a rude and crude superhero film that was both fresh and unique.
Action Movie of the Year
The Nominees:
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice- macho fisticuffs and a giant monster
Captain America: Civil War- car chases, explosions and an airport extravaganza
Deadpool- deliberate death and destruction
And the Winner Is:
Although the film had a lot of problems, for the airport fight scene alone, it is a worthy winner.
Drama of the Year
And the Winner Is:
Endearing, brilliantly directed and well written, Eddie the Eagle is an underdog film that I enjoyed far more than I thought I would.
Horror Movie of the Year
The Nominees:
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies- zombies, zombies and more zombies
And the Winner Is:
As a child of the 90s, Goosebumps brought back many happy memories. And although it wasn’t at all scary, it was still thoroughly entertaining.
Animated Movie of the Year
The Nominees:
Moana- a Disney Princess movie set in the Pacific
Zootopia (Zootropolis)- an interesting idea, infusing comedy with likeable central characters
And the Winner Is:
Great songs, amazing animation and a brilliant lead all made Moana a stand out movie.
Most Exciting Action Sequence
The Nominees:
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice- Batman v Superman obviously
Captain America: Civil War- the airport battle
Deadpool- final battle in the scrapyard
Passengers (2016)- Aurora trapped in the swimming pool
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story- the final battle on Scarif
And the Winner Is:
Captain America: Civil War- the airport battle
This battle includes Captain America, Iron Man, Ant-Man, Spider-Man and the Black Panther. Of course it was going to be epic.
Best prequel, sequel, remake, reboot or spin-off
The Nominees:
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice- it had Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and a weird monster
Captain America: Civil War- it had all of the Marvel superheroes we love- including Spider-Man
Deadpool- the X-Men universe continues- in a way we’ve never seen before
And the Winner Is:
Deadpool was a spin-off that was completely different from its predecessors.
Special Award for Best Film that is not a prequel, sequel, remake or reboot
Although Moanahad everything we want from a Disney Princess Movie, it still managed to be completely distinctive.
Special Award for creating sentient non-speaking characters out of thing are not really sentient
The Sea and The Tattoo are a big part of Moana and steal the show several times- so they deserve recognition for being successfully characterised!
Special Award for Best Performance by Inanimate Objects
The swimming pool in Passengers (2016)
By far and away the best thing in the entire movie, the swimming pool not only looks incredible, it is also the centre piece for the best and most tense sequence.
Worst prequel, sequel, remake, reboot or spin-off
The Nominees:
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice- Superman and Batman fighting for no reason- and then there’s a giant alien monster??
Captain America: Civil War- at points badly directed, with a horribly disappointing ending
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story- unnecessary, boring and pointless
And the Winner is:
There was no reason at all to make this film except to make more money for Disney. Talk about flogging a dead horse, Rogue One is boring, dull and completely worthless.
Biggest Disappointment of the Year
The Nominees:
Captain America: Civil War- an anti-climax and a long drawn out and dull plot ruined what should have been an incredible movie
The BFG (2016)- a creepy giant, no scary scenes and an annoying protagonist
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story- This was even worse than I thought it might be- and I had low expectations
Passengers (2016)- a great idea ruined by a morally dissonant decision
And the Winner Is:
I had high expectations for Captain America’s third outing- but it had a lot of problems that I couldn’t quite get over.
Worst Ending
The Nominees:
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice- we know Superman isn’t dead- so why pretend he is?
Captain America: Civil War- an anti-climactic ass-pull
The Girl on the Train- we discover all men are evil abusers and all woman are helpless victims
Goosebumps- a weird happy ending- and then a stupid twist
Passengers (2016)- can there even be a happy ending after what has happened?
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story- sickeningly cheesy franchise tying-in tripe
And the Winner Is:
It was a close call between this and Passengers but the reason why this won is because after watching a long, mostly dull slog of a superhero movie, a ten minute ending that tries to convince us Superman is dead- when we know he isn’t- is completely unnecessary. And horribly boring.
Special Award for Most Mind-Bogglingly Stupid Plot Device Ever
Murder by proxy in Passengers
The crux of the film relies on one crucial decision that the main character makes- and once he does, we can never get over it. It ruins the entire film, and would have only worked if it were a dark thriller. But it isn’t, so it’s stupid.
Worst Director
The Nominees:
Gareth Edwards for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Anthony & Joe Russo for Captain America: Civil War
Tate Taylor for The Girl on the Train
And the Winner Is:
Gareth Edwards for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Failing to understand that you must actually enagage with the actors you're directing, and that the story has to make logical sense through the juxtaposition of images, this is the work of a man who was made famous for one of the worst films ever made.
Worst Performance in a Supporting Role
The Nominees:
Jack Black as the invisible boy in Goosebumps
Idris Elba as Chief Bogo in Zootopia (Zootropolis)
Rebecca Ferguson in The Girl on the Train
Mads Mikkleson in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
T.J. Miller in Deadpool
Elizabeth Olsen in Captain America: Civil War
Sam Riley in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Justin Theroux as Tom in The Girl on the Train
And the Winner Is:
Mads Mikkleson in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Mads clearly doesn’t know what he’s doing in this film. He looks as if he’s reading the script off-screen, and obviously doesn’t want to be in the movie. His non-performance negativly effects the entire film from the very beginning- and sets the scene for how pointless everything about Rogue One is.
Worst Performance in a Leading Role
The Nominees:
Ruby Barnhill as Sophie in The BFG (2016)
Henry Cavill as Superman in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Felicity Jones as Jyn Erso in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Chris Pratt as Jim Preston Passengers (2016)
And the Winner Is:
Henry Cavill as Superman in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Once again, Henry Cavill relies upon his scowl in an attempt to portray emotion.
Worst Movie of the Year
The Nominees:
And the Winner Is:
It was a close call between this and Rogue One, but the reason Passengers won is because it actually could have been a good film (unlike Rogue One). Trying to mix a sci-fi action thriller with a romantic drama just didn’t work- mainly because of the crucial crux of the entire film that destroys everything it touches.
Lifetime Achievement Award for Destroying the Credibility of the Entire Movie Industry
And the Winner Is:
Henry Cavill
Yes, he's a handsome man, but is that really a good enough reason to continue to cast him in movies? It just shows you that modern cinema is all about style over substance. If it looks good- it must be good, right? Sadly, no.
Best Director
The Nominees:
Ron Clements & John Musker for Moana
Dexter Fletcher for Eddie the Eagle
Tim Miller for Deadpool
And the Winner Is:
Dexter Fletcher for Eddie the Eagle
Fletcher takes a typical underdog story and makes it incredibly touching, funny and exciting. His understanding of visual and emotive storytelling is very strong- and his superb direction takes Eddie to higher heights.
Best Performance in a Supporting Role
The Nominees:
Amy Adams as Lois Lane in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Morena Baccarin as Vanessa in Deadpool
Jason Bateman as Nick Wilde in Zootopia (Zootropolis)
Haley Bennett as Megan in The Girl on the Train
The CGI Monsters in Goosebumps
Brianna Hildebrand as Negasonic Teenage Warhead in Deadpool
Holly Hunter as Senator Finch in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
And the Winner Is:
Holly Hunter as Senator Finch in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
She may have only been in the movie for less than 10 minutes, but her outstanding performance wiped everyone else out of the staid superhero sludge.
Best Performance in a Leading Role
The Nominees:
Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne/Batman in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Emily Blunt as Rachel in The Girl on the Train
Auli’I Cravalho as Moana in Moana
Hugh Jackman as Bronson Peary in Eddie the Eagle
Jennifer Lawrence as Aurora in Passengers (2016)
Dylan Minnette as Zach in Goosebumps
Ryan Reynolds as Wade/Deadpool in Deadpool
And the Winner Is:
Emily Blunt as Rachel in The Girl on the Train
The film may have been a misandristic mess, but there’s no denying that Emily Blunt gives an incredibly strong performance as a drunk and disorderly woman on the edge.
And now for the biggest award of the evening:
Movie of the Year
The Nominees:
Deadpool- slick superhero shocker
Eddie the Eagle- emotional underdog story
Goosebumps- funny throwback
Moana- high seas hijinks
Zootopia (Zootropolis)- animated animal adventure
And the Winner Is:
Moana has everything you would expect in a Disney Princess Movie- but also in a solid Disney Animated Classic. Funny, touching, uplifting and beautifully animated, Moana is an excellent film, regardless of the ridiculous coconut pirates and insipid disco crab. But the best part about this film is the lead character Moana- fully fleshed likeable three dimensional- who is instantly endearing and unforgettable.
Thank you, loyal readers, for sharing the Movie Marmite Man Awards with me for the fifth year running!
2016 was, on the whole, a dissappointing year for movies, so let’s hope that 2017 will be much better- I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
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