Paganism and Wicca

I recently had a whole week and a half off from work, which was a complete splendor! We finally finished with all the furnishing and decorating of our house and even some friends visited us by turn. It was really nice and now we have a good atmosphere at home.

I've recently been very calm in mind and had solitude within I haven't felt for two long.

There are many reasons why I am interested in Wicca and Paganism, similar to my interest with Goth I would say. Sadly I hadn't had the concentration in me to seriously begin practicing it or even having an altar, due to obvious circumstances in my life. I began to get into Wicca when I was about 18 [?] and when I spent horrifying 9 months in the army believing in the Moon helped me to believe in myself and eventually in the world.

I always felt I wasn't old enough for Wicca, or I was distracted in my life by other things, mostly unfortunate and challenging... Although, and it's funny for me to confess with it, ever since I turned 21, and my German teacher who is heavily into esoteric things and witchcraft as well, told me it's the age when things change and different understandings began to evoke, I started to dig deep into the subject. Cornelia [my German teacher] also gave me a book by Elisabeth Heich called Initation, and I will spare time a day to read it, to learn more, as I am having the feeling I can get concentrated on spiritual things better that of what I was before this current age. I tend to believe that mentally I am a late bloomer, and that I began to have the courage and energy to all things I loved after passing my teenage years, but that's a story to a different post.

I am very afraid of casting real spells, because I need to read more and research. Yesterday Boris and I found a table on the roof of our new house [amusing as it was] and I've decided to make it my altar. I have many candles which never seem enough, and I am preparing myself for what will be my first official Wiccan holiday- The Samhain, which is naturally compared to the well known Halloween [which is obviously not celebrated in our country].
I am reading a lot about what this holiday of the Fall means, of the Dark time of year coming forward and the rising dead, also the following colors and fruits that accompany this holiday, a time of change and good decisions, about the mixture of Darkness and Light.

Before being overwhelmed with all this beauty I must in some way disclame that I don't like to follow rules, and back when I was 18 first reading about Wicca I discovered it can pretty much be anything you like [just like Goth!], as long as you respect the nature and it's creatures, and everything Wicca means to that. I've always adored the Moon, I loved the trees and their power, and I am more than eager to learn more.

So far my first spell or blessing, it doesn't matter how to call it, was the blessing of our new house, and cleaning it from bad spirits [there were some, I tell you!] that Cornelia has taught me. I was very happy to use it, and my biggest debate so far is to whether write my chants in hebrew or in english [or in russian, the hell!] because I really want to use a language I can relate to, and I can memorize and rhyme chants easily. I thought about using all languages I know for the matter, even german, and I think it couldn't hurt.

This was my little Wiccan update, this first of the kind. I wanted to open a Wicca blog, but it requires me to find good other bloggers, and I'm afraid of not having time for the matter, thought I will consider this anyway, hence I wanted this blog to be personal/ Goth related only. Who knows!

Blessed Be, dears.